


All We Lost

by driedraspberry



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-04-11 18:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4446422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/driedraspberry/pseuds/driedraspberry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry & Iris in the original timeline, before Eobard killed Nora and screwed everything up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Iris is damp from the rain and Barry can feel the cool of her skin, even for the foot or so of carpeted floor between them.

When he turns on his lamp, he’s relieved to see she’s smiling—never mind the smudge of eyeliner under her eyes or the sleepy puff of her face. Her shoulders hang too. They hang lower when she lifts herself to sit up on his window ledge, swinging her booted legs.

He can’t ignore how her skirt hitches up her thighs—her bare thighs. It’s harder now, seeing her bare skin. Now that he knows what she feels like. Sounds like. Tastes—his brain’s quick to go there. To her warm, silky-soft skin and the lasting tinge of _Iris-ness_ in his mouth.

He always knew he’d like to go down on girls—what guy wouldn’t? But with Iris… With her, he never wanted to stop.

And that wasn’t the only thing she’d let him do.

He swallows thickly and tries to keep his mind on the moment and his eyes up, away from Iris’ bare thighs.

“Your room’s so neat,” she whispers, her dark eyes flittering around, following the shadows. “What happened?”

“Yeah, uh, Mom made me clean up a bit earlier…” Barry smiles, though the stretch feels a bit tight, twitchy, since he’s all too aware of what went on the last time she was here. The last time he saw her in person—exactly four days ago.

Iris did that. Bit of a habit of hers, really—she picked it up from her dad, from the way he’d shut her out with the excuse of work. Usually Barry gave her space and didn’t make a big deal out of it. But this time, after what they’d done, Barry worried. What if he’d hurt her? What if she didn’t like him anymore? What if he’d been _bad_? He hadn’t lasted long on their first try, but he tried to make it up to her… Or he thought he had. “I—Iris, did I do something? Are you—?”

“I’m fine,” she says too quickly. Her legs swing harder now, like she’s trying to contain her upset in their motion.

“If I did anything—anything bad—I’m sorry. I…” He watches the shadow of her swinging legs on his walls, and sighs. “I missed you. I missed you a lot.”

Her smile returns now, small, but her eyes have lit up a bit. “I missed you too, Bear.”

He doesn’t ask why she didn’t answer his calls. Or why she couldn’t text. He doesn’t need an explanation. Just as long as she’s good now.

“It’s kinda late, you want to stay? We don’t have to—um, we don’t have to do anything. I mean, we could just sleep. I don’t even need my bed. And I can get you a sweater to change into…. Your jacket’s wet.”

Her legs slow. “Okay.”

He lets go of the breath straining his lungs and says, “Do you, uh, want to give it to me? Your jacket—to hang. So it dries.”

She slides off the ledge and turns, struggling out of the heavy leather. It’s cold and wet on Barry’s palms—he tries to focus on that and not how her delicate shoulder blades twitch under her thin top. Or the tight pluck of her bra straps.

“No sweater,” Iris says quietly and turns, her eyes bigger now, bright with frightened thrill, same as that other night…

Barry’s mouth hangs a bit, soundless, not sure he understands. Not until she’s pressed up against him, her small fists tugging at his t-shirt, forcing him down. He lets her. And finds her mouth. Clumsy and gruff at first, but then, they ease into their usual kisses. She tastes good, all Iris-y and cool. It makes hum appreciatively.

God, he’d missed her. He always did.

It doesn’t take his body long to twitch with want—painful want.

But he’s not sure about her, not sure if she’s okay. So he pulls back, just a bit, his palms on her knuckles to pause their tugging. Breathing hard, he forces out a huffy, “Iris, maybe we should—”

“No.”

He blinks and tries again, but—

“No talking.” She shifts up to her tiptoes to peck his lips and, in softer tones, she murmurs, “Okay, Bear?”

Like he ever says no to her?

He feels her smile with the second kiss. And her hands wiggle free now, slipping under his hem. Her cold fingers rub the strip of bare skin above the elastic band of his boxer shorts—his stomach muscles contract tightly in response, rock hard under her touch.

Her mouth opens wider and his hands pull on her hair, angling her for better access.

He doesn’t fumble as much this time. He staggers a bit on their way to his bed, but that’s the worst of it.  And he likes to think he lasts longer.

 

* * *

 

Iris wiggles around, enjoying the warm, slept-in feel of Barry’s sheets on her naked body. They smell like him—like sex. The memory of it and of the last time she was here, bare and sweaty, fogs her mind, making her breath catch.

Barry returns from the bathroom and slips in under the covers from the other end of the bed, quickly finding her with his long, warm limbs.

It’s not long till his hands on her, stroking her while his face is in her hair, breathing her in and murmuring half sentences that run together. She relaxes into him again, letting his fingers do the work—his best skill for now, though his mouth is learning fast.

She’s nearly there, moving against him in sharp twitches before she goes all rigid and comes. Just as she swallows back her moans, the door cracks open, streaming in light from the hall.

“Bear, have you heard from…”

Iris’ whole body jolts and her arms jump up to cross over her chest. Barry cries out, his arm snapping back to his side, though not fast enough to avoid the switching on of his lights.

“…Iris?”

It’s Nora Allen, standing by the doorway with a cordless phone held up to her ear. Her eyes go wide and her mouth slack.

Barry squawks an unconvincingly casual, “Hi Mom.”

Iris just shuts her eyes.

Barry is so dead. So so soooo dead. Her dad's gonna make sure of it.


	2. Chapter 2

The Allen’s kitchen looks different at night. Chilly and unfamiliar. Yellow light shines down on them at the table while shadows surround, bleeding in from the dark hallway and the pitch-black living room.

Iris tries not to look at the open doorways.

She’s not scared of the dark per se, not when it’s outside and in vast, open spaces. But shadows in confined corners… She shivers, squeezing her limbs together even tighter. Her knees are tucked inside Barry’s oversized sweatshirt. Her arms stretch around them, fingers peeking out of the loose cuffs to wind together.

Concern flickers across Barry’s white face. “Cold?”

He’s across the table from her.

He wouldn’t dare sit closer, not under Nora’s sharp eye. But Iris wishes they were. He’s been fidgeting nonstop since they were called down, and it’s all Iris can do to stop herself from going over and pulling him into her arms, lulling him to calm and still.

She mouths, “I’m fine.”

But his eyes stay on her, worried. Cleary for more than just her cold toes.

Nora worries too. She doesn’t say it out loud, but Iris notices her watching. Her thin lips quirk, in a motherly way—not that Iris should know. Her mother didn’t bother sticking around.

Nora is alright though, most of the time. Iris thinks of her as a cool older aunt more than as a substitute mom. Mainly because she doesn’t think very highly of moms.

What wasn’t alright or remotely cool: the “sex is bad” talk. It was every bit as mortifying as Iris imagined it’d be. And for Nora too. She said, “Yada, yada” a lot and ended on, “I won’t be watching you day and night, I know I can’t. But if I ever catch you _together_ in my house again, there will be severe consequences. And Iris, I’ll be calling your father. Perhaps we can figure a course of action together.”

On the bright side, Nora said she hadn’t told Joe yet. That it was gonna be up to Iris to do it. “And you too, Barry. Don’t think you’re getting out of this. You need to explain your part to Joe.” That’s when Barry had gone from his earlier tomato flush to full chalk-white.

Now, Nora rubs her tired face, smudging what’s left of her eyeliner. She gets up for more wine. Her third.

Iris watches red stuff swish around the glass until she feels Nora’s eyes on her, and a look that says, “You’ll understand one day.”

Iris hopes not. At least, she hopes her future husband doesn’t have as many late night shifts as Mr. Allen.

Nora downs a large gulp, then sighs. “Barry, go up and get the guest room ready for Iris. I’ll drive you both to Joe’s in the morning. You can do your explaining—and apologizing—then.”

Barry’s up in a flash. A quick nod and he’s thundering up the stairs.

It’s then that Nora’s weary coolness warms a little. She slides her chair closer to Iris’ and reaches out to tuck a stray curl behind her ear. “What did Joe do this time?”

“Nothing.”

But Nora’s knows her too well.

It takes Iris a beat to confess. “It’s just… He wants me to move in with _her_. Over the summer.”

Nora’s brow arches, perfectly aware of who this _her_ is. “And you? Do you want to?”

Iris can’t get _no_ out soon enough. But Nora must’ve noted the slight high pitch and picked up on the tinge of uncertainty, because she asks, “But…?”

“Wally,” Iris says simply this time. “He’s taking extra cred courses over the summer and he can’t just ditch it for Central City. I don’t want to be around Francine and all, but Wally is cool. I want to know him. Hang out.”

Things were so much simpler before she and Joe found out about Francine’s secret. Iris always knew about her mother’s less than spectacular parental history. But to find out she had a secret brother. A kid Francine actually stuck around for… That hurt. It hurt so bad that her resolve to forgive her mother’s bad choices as symptoms of her mental and emotional issues was toppled over. Flipped around and blotted out. Disease or not, the woman clearly didn’t want Iris.

Nora finishes her wine and sets the glass down. “It’s your choice then, right?”

Well, yeah. But Iris hates being weighed down by the choice. It feels like a punishment, because she can’t win, whatever she chooses.

“You should go.” Nora says in that familiar, frank way. The real reason why Iris tells her stuff in the first place. “Don’t let Francine’s mistakes get in the way of knowing your brother. Go have fun. Central City is gonna be the same boring place as always when you get back.”

Iris tucks her nose in the small gap between her knees, considering all that. “What if I can’t stand being around her? What if she keeps trying to impose and I can’t get away? I like Wally but…”

“We’re a train ride away. You can leave anytime things get uncomfortable. Or call me, I wouldn’t mind driving down—no doubt, Barry is gonna flop around the house moaning about you being gone after about a week.”

Barry deserves it. He ditched her all of last summer for his apprenticeship at a biochem lab in Coast City. And apparently all he did was keep records and clean beakers…which according to him was harder than it seems. Said he broke so many, they point blank told him they didn’t want him back this summer.

A low chuckle shakes inside Iris, warming her up a bit. She feels lighter having talked about this, and wishes she’d told Barry… She supposes she would’ve, if Nora hadn’t interrupted earlier. Either way, the dark cloud hanging over her since that talk with Joe fades a few shades.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she says quietly. “I’ll go. Maybe just for a month and see…”

Nora rubs her back in approval. “Now, I’m gonna give you about a minute or so to say goodbye to Barry. And after I’m coming up… Got it?”

She runs, hoping to get a goodnight kiss before Nora makes good on that promise.

#

Barry pouts. Even so, his right knee keeps on bouncing in the cramped leg-space of the back seat, remembering to be nervous as they’re nearly at her house. “You’re going away? For real?”

“Only the summer. Promise.”

His bottom lip sticks out even more.

Iris smiles, resisting the urge to kiss it away. Given the time and place, not the best idea. “You can come visit. And chill with Wally.”

That seems to cheer him up, finally. His head bobs, making the goofy grin on his naturally goofy face, extra, extra goofy. “I’ll visit, yeah. I’ll take the train if Mom won’t drive me.”

Iris’ hand slides up his neck and to the back of his head, scratching. He’s a stupid, adorable puppy. And if not for Nora in the front seat, she’d kiss him hard, all over his goofy face.

At first, Barry leans into her touch, his grin easing into one more sedate. Then, the car slows, and he freezes. His head jerks towards the front, towards Nora.

She’s watching them through the front mirror, “Almost there, you two ready?”

Barry swallows thickly and sends Iris a terrified look. “Joe is gonna kill me, isn’t he?”

Iris rests her hand on his bouncing knee and gives it a reassuring squeeze. Under her touch, the fidgeting stops—in his right leg. And the left knee starts bouncing.

Poor Barry.

#

They sit apart, knees together, hands wringing and white-knuckled.

Joe has his back to them, facing the living room mantel lined with family photos—most prominent, the huge one of Iris herself. There’s something so terribly imposing about his broad shoulders, they seem wider than ever. In fact, he looks like he grew a foot taller too.

“Dad..” Iris starts, uncomfortably, trying to make light of the situation. But she feels Barry shift on the other end of the couch and loses her cool. It’s probably best not to say anymore. Just look guilty, and hope her dad is feeling unlike himself today.

But then, he turns.

His face is completely void of anything. No expression. His eyes are dark, staring ahead, but not like they’re seeing.

Iris swallows hard. And poor Barry, he fidgets away from her—or would, if there was any space left to shift away to.

Joe’s steps are curt. Then he drops in between them. All the while, not speaking a single word.

Iris tries to focus on her own heartbeat, counting it.

“So,” Joe says, pausing to clear his throat. “You two thought you’re mature enough to do adult things, huh? But you’re not adults and you don’t have a your own damn house to do those adult things in, do you? So what do you do, you disrespect Nora and sneak around in _her_ house. Am I getting this right?”

Iris thinks she can feel Barry quivering. He’s definitely not breathing, and neither is she. But Joe is waiting for an answer, and Iris knows Barry’s not about to give him one.

“Dad, I’m sorry—we’re s—”

“I asked a question. Answer me. Did I get it right?” Joe’s eyes find her, and Iris can’t help but look. She never remembered them being so dark, blackest of black. And she can’t read a thing in them. Only dark coldness.

“Y—yes.”

Then Joe does something that shocks her—he chuckles. Loud. Booming. Not a nice chuckle though…

Joe’s arms go around them. First her, then Barry who squeaks—actually squeaks—when Joe touches him. Joe’s chuckles stop abruptly. “Listen here, you two, if I ever—and I mean ever—hear about you sneaking around again, disrespecting Nora’s rules in her damn house, I will make your lives very, very sorry. Got it? And if you ever get it in your head to do any sneaking around in my house…”

He laughs again. And somehow, it’s scarier this time.

Barry makes an unintelligible sound. Iris thinks it’s him trying to swear this will never happen again, but she can’t be sure.

“You know the overnight jail-cells at CCPD are always busy. How do you like giving the janitors a couple of weeks off from toilet duty? We can make it a year…”

Iris’ jaw falls. He can’t be serious, can he?

But Joe only pats their shoulders, hard. “Oh and if I find out I’m gonna be a grandfather anytime soon, they’ll have to send me to Iron Heights after I’m through with the two of you.”

More incoherent babbling from Barry, which Joe ignores. He turns to Iris, eyes narrowed. “Go upstairs. I want to have a private chat with Don Juan here.”

Iris swears she can hear Barry’s teeth chatter he’s so scared.

She’s not gonna leave him. So, she says the only thing she knows will distract her dad from terrifying Barry into an early grave, “I called Francine. Told her I accept. I’ll be staying with her and Wally at Keystone for summer.”

Joe starts. “You will?”

Iris nods. “I want to get to know Wally…”

Joe nods too, suddenly thoughtful. “Yeah, I want to get to know him too. But between the job and his schooling it’s not gonna be easy. And the kid’s not gonna transfer over to Central City for a year—can’t blame him for not wanting to leave his friends and his mom for a dad he’s only found out about…”

He rubs his face tiredly.

Then, as if suddenly realizing Barry is there too, and why. He frowns, and tightens his arm around him, so Barry’s head is practically held in a lock over Joe’s peck. “You can go now, Allen, but you touch my daughter again and we’re gonna continue this conversation. And it won’t be pretty.”

Finally he lets Barry go, who springs up, shaking on the spot. Even so, Barry hesitates, glancing over at her to make sure it’s okay. Iris nods. After that, he sprints away and out the door in a blink.

“You sure you want to do this, Baby?” Joe watches her, his face completely transformed. The cold stare is gone, instead his face is open and his eyes bright with concern. “You want to spend time with Francine?”

“I don’t want to spend time with Francine. But if that’s the price for getting to know my brother, I’m fine with it. Or at least, I’ll try to be.”

Joe shifts in his seat and his other arm reaches around Iris to pull her into a tight hug. “Wally’s lucky to have a big sister like you. Hope he knows it.”

Iris smiles into his shoulder.

She hopes this tender moment means she’s going to be excused from consequences.

Unfortunately, while she saved Barry’s life, Joe would never let her get off so easily. Happy as he is about her going to Keystone, he’s still Joe West.  

The next day, after school, Iris finds herself in the basement of CCPD charged with sorting their old paper files into the digital system. And she’ll be spending her every afternoon and every weekend for the next three weeks here. Her only enjoyment comes from the fact that Barry has it so much worse. He got cleanup at the forensics lab, and already a few hours into their first day, Joe and Singh have each had a go at him for breaking things.

Barry whines about it when they sneak off together to the back-stairway. Iris laughs. Then kisses away his pout with an enthusiastic kiss.

Of course, Barry is terrified of getting caught kissing. But Iris is good at convincing him of things. And getting him in trouble with her dad. Which happens about three minutes into their stairway make out session.

Joe is not amused.


End file.
